The people who go to Haunted Houses

There are two types of people who exist in the world. Those who believe in ghosts and those who don't.

Like this,

There are also those who like to be scared and those who don't.

So, if you were to draw a diagram it would look something like this,

I think? To be honest, I never really understood those things. Although thinking about it, there is also me. The girl is only here because she’s into a guy.

So I guess it looks more like this?  Or maybe there needs to be circles?

Ok maybe this metaphor isn’t working. What I am really getting at is people who go into haunted houses really just look like 5 kids in a horror movie. There’s Dan, he’s got his camera and is in it for the grams’; Tristen, he’s in it for Courtney; Dylan who, I’m here for… but in it… because… well, he’s Dylan, and of course Courtney who is, I’m not sure, I guess she’s here for herself?

The haunted house is an old farmhouse right by the river that we had found during our first yearly inner-tubing adventure. Well, Tristen, Courtney, Dylan, and I (along with a bunch of other kids from the school) found it. Dan ended up hearing about the location and decided it would be the next place for his youtube videos. 

“Content content content.” he chanted as if it was his mantra as he packed up his stuff in his car. 

As we peeked into the dusty rundown house, the door creaked like some old woman standing up. “This place smells like feet,” Trysten so eloquently observed as he bravely took the first few steps. 

The house protested, but we ventured on. 

“It’s probably a dead animal,” I muttered remembering when the family cat had brought home a mouse and hidden it under my brother’s bed. It had smelled like salty sour gym socks for weeks until my father had them rip the room apart. 

“Gross, how do you know that?” Courtney said, holding her nose with the sleeve of her green Abercrombie hoodie.

“Because it smells like death,” Dan countered. “This place is so haunted.” He flashed his light in Courtney’s eyes making her squint for a moment at the sudden brightness before rolling her eyes at the camera.

“So how do we get ghosts to show up?” Trystan asked, taking a step closer to Courtney puffing his chest out slightly. He always did that around girls he was trying to impress. It was like he was trying to make himself bigger, although it kind of just made him look like a rooster.

“I have just the thing,” Dylan pulled out the Ouija board he had gotten from Target that morning. Still in its plastic wrap. 

“Ohhh, just like in the movies,” Courtney giggled sitting cross legged in the living room. “If anyone is getting possessed it’s Trystan.”

“Why me?” Trystan was high key offended as he sat down next to her. Dylan took the seat on her other side as he set up the board. 

Before I could grab my seat next to my reason for getting dust all over my new Lucky Brand jeans, Dan sat down next to him leaving me sitting across from Dylan’s beautiful large brown eyes between Trystan and Dan.

“Oh joy!”

“Ok, everyone put your hands on the triangle thing,” Dylan said reading the instructions.

“Planchette,” Dan corrected, making sure to get shots of everyone’s reactions.

“Yeah sure, that thing. And then we need to ask it a question,” Dylan continued. 

“Don’t we need to chant or anything?” I asked as Courtney lit the candles we had gotten. 

“Nope,” Dylan shook his head as he looked over the instructions. “Just put your fingers lightly on the triangle thing.”

“Planchette” 

This earned Dan a glare from everyone before Dylan continued, “yes, put your fingers lightly on the Planchette and ask a question.” 

So with that in mind, we all placed a finger on the Planchette. 

After a moment of silence, I finally spoke, “So uhhhh, who’s asking the questions?” 

“Dylan,” Courtney said, nudging his shoulder. “He was the one who got the board.” 

“Ok fine,” he said, “is there anyone out there?” 

Nothing.

“Spirit’s of the night, is anyone around?” 

Again, nothing.

“Is this house haunted?” 

A big old pile of nothing. 

“BOO!” 

Courtney screamed, jumping into Dylan’s arms as Trystan scared her. Letting out a loud laugh, Trystan tried to pry her off Dylan as the rest of us caught our breath.  Maybe that was just me who almost jumped out of their skin of the loud noise. Trystan had that flirting style where he thought if he pulled a girl’s pigtails they would like him. I never found it very endearing and apparently - as she hit him angrily- neither did Courtney. 

“Well that’s disappointing,” Dylan muttered, getting up brushing his pants off and looking around. The rest of us joined him looking around the room. The room still had that creepy feeling that any empty, slightly broken down house feels at night, with dark shadows in all the cracks and nooks of the walls. 

“We should split up, maybe that’ll drag the ghosts out,” Courtney suggested, pulling her honey-colored hair tighter in its ponytail. 

“Or get us all killed,” I muttered looking around. While there may not be any ghosts, the possibility of a serial killer was still something I wasn’t ready to face. 

“Niki, you should go with Dan,” Courtney smiled. The lights from the candles flickering making her look almost evil. 

“No way, I need interesting footage,” Dan said, already making his way out of the room. Well excuse me Dan, did I not make for good content? Without waiting Dan slowly started making his way toward the staircase that climbed from the foyer. It was so old and rotted. I hoped it would collapse when he tried to step on it. 

Jerk.

And also not my thing. So instead, I turned back from the staircase and made my way back to the living room where I found something worse than a serial killer.

Dylan was kissing Courtney. 

Well, that was a twist, I didn’t see coming, especially when I had confided in Courtney a month ago about my growing crush on the boy she was now making out with. 

Well cool… Maybe I can find a ghost that can kill me.

Dan was missing all the drama looking for his content. 

Typical. 

Moving on, I made my way toward the kitchen. I took my time to look around the place, not that you could really see much since it was night. Why did we have to come at night anyway? This place could have some really cool stuff, but we would never be able to tell.

“Why is it that people always think ghosts’ say ‘Boo?” At first, I thought maybe Dylan was making some old-timey joke since he liked to put on fake accents to make people laugh and that was one of the many reasons I had this very annoying crush on him. But as it turned out, I quickly realized it was not Dylan who had spoken. 

It was a tall man in a waistcoat, gangly, with what looked like a patchy mustache. He had a top hat on his head that leaned slightly to the left as he stood primly next to the back door. 

“I… Honestly, I have no idea,” was the only thing I could think to say to the glowing ghost boy/man/person.

“I didn’t mean to intrude upon your colleagues’ jaunt through this abysmal squalor.  But watching the dark-haired fellow scare the lady, reminded me of the children back home pretending to be goblins and ghouls.” He continued taking a few steps closer. His body was slightly see-through making everything behind him look slightly shimmery as if it was in some sort of funhouse mirror.  

It also occurred to me that I am the only one here. And, of course, right when the weirdest thing was happening to me I was alone so NO ONE would believe me. Maybe if I kept him talking…?

“Maybe it’s because they are sad? Like Boo hoo?” 

The ghost nodded in thought and then seemed to catch himself. “My apologies madam, I am Edward Fallen and I couldn’t help but notice your beauty and felt compelled to say hello.”

As I watched Edward bow, I couldn’t help but mentally roll my eyes. Of course, of all people, a dead man thought I was hot. That was like having your mom tell you that you were beautiful. It meant almost nothing. But at least a deadman from probably a million years ago thinks I’m good looking. 

“Thanks?” 

“I don’t mean to be so bold, it's just that your presence seemed to light up this room in a way that no other has since… well…” he sighed and it sounded like Ethel or maybe Elizabeth? Couldn’t be sure. It definitely started with an E sound.. 

“Well, that’s a very nice thing for you to say.” How does one respond to such flattery? My mom had always instructed me to thank people, but years in public highschool taught me to act like I was the ugliest woman alive. Time to try and escape this awkward conversation. 

“I… I should probably find my friends,” I whispered slowly, backing away from the kitchen where the ghost stood.

“You are much too modest,” The ghost continued following me with long strides. As he got closer, I realized he couldn’t be much older than me, maybe 19 at the most. “It has been so long since I have even bothered to converse with a human, but you, something about you, makes my heart truly sing.”

Weird. Awkward. Help? 

 

“Yeah…? That’s… sorry?” my words stuttered together as I tried to escape. This was too much for me. I needed to…

I tripped over an uneven floorboard and fell flat on my butt. 

“Oh my GOSH Niki,” Courtney’s voice could be heard from the other room, slightly higher pitched than normal. “Are you ok!?! You have dust all over you.” 

Looking up I saw the crew converging on me from all corners of the house to witness my klutziness. I hope Edward was still here. Maybe they would forget me and get footage of an actual ghost. 

He wasn’t. 

So yeah. I’m probably crazy. But at least now I know what part of the circle I am in. 

--Several Days and a POV change later---

She wasn't sure what time it was, but it was dark as Niki slowly opened her eyes. Dreams slowly faded from her consciousness as reality seeped in. A soft, blue glow filled the room that seemed just a little too bright to be the moon.

Blinking a few times, she looked around the room as her eyes adjusted. She hadn't remembered leaving the closet light on. 

Then it moved

"AH!" Niki screamed, throwing a pillow with a string of curse words. The pillow sailed right through the blue light which hit the wall making her framed picture that her grandmother had painted for her fall to the floor with a clatter. 

"M’lady, it's ok," the blue body said, his hands raised in defense as he floated closer.

"EDWARD?!?"

"Please don’t be alarmed” He continued, “I couldn't help myself. You were so beautiful while you slept. I couldn’t help but bask in your presence."

"How did you get here?" Niki demanded, wiping the drool from her mouth that the retainer she wore always seemed to cause. Weren't ghosts supposed to be trapped in houses or attached to cursed objects? Racking her brain Niki tried to think if she had accidentally taken a necklace or a doll or something.

"I walked."

So there goes that theory.

"Why?" was the only word that came out of her mouth. “Why?” 

"I wanted to protect you."

At this Niki’s eyes involuntarily scanned the room, the smiling faces of her One Direction and inspirational cat posters smiling back at her. "From what?"

"There are many dangers that face beautiful women in this world."

Fair... But also... No.

"Go home!" She was not in the mood to deal with some clingy ghost. Already nursing a broken heart over her longtime highschool crush and just didn’t have the emotional ability at this hour to deal with another person -even a dead person’s- emotions. So, she pulled the covers over her head. Niki hoped he would just listen to her and leave. "The last thing I want is to have to explain this to my dad." she added.

She could almost hear him telling her it was her fault. How she somehow lured other wordly men in with her feminine makeup or something. The recent obsession right now was Niki’s makeup. According to him, it was the cause of all her problems. 

“I shall leave you for now, but I shan't go far," Edward said leaning closer. Goosebumps (or would they be ghost bumps?) ran down her spine like a chill as he tried to kiss her forehead before she pulled away.

From her blanket fort, Niki watched as the top-hat wearing ghost slowly floated through her second story wall and into the night.

This was going to be a problem, wasn't it?

That, Niki, was an understatement.

A few months later with only about a week before school started, she still hadn't been able to get Edward to leave her alone.

So like any desperate person does. She headed to the Catholic Church.

All Souls was a beautiful old church connected to Niki’s high school. While she may not be the best student and even less good Catholic, churches helped with exorcisms, right? Or that was what the movie, “The Exorcist” said. Plus, all of the posters of death metal bands her brother had on his walls always had religious icons. So even if her family really only went to church during Easter and Christmas…

Desperate times. 

Father Billy was a newly ordained priest, or that was what the pamphlet Niki had grabbed that morning after Sunday mass said. It was either him or Father Richard, who frankly… kind of scared her the way he glared at everyone through his thick brows. It was like he could read her soul. 

So, Billy, it is. 

“Great to have you today,” the priest drawled with his thick so-cal accent making it almost sound like he was asking if it was great to have her there instead of making a comment. “Are you having a rad summer?” 

“Yeah, I never want it to end.” 

He nodded reminiscently, “I used to live at the beach,” he said, “just me and my board from dawn till dusk.” 

Maybe this guy wasn’t what she needed. Maybe bushy-browed Father Richard was more of the expelling sort of priest. He was, after all, more intimidating. 

Although, seeing this former surfer turned priest interact with Mr Tophat could be very entertaining.  

“Father, I have a question,” Niki said, deciding if the prospect of watching the prim and proper Edward fancy britches interact with this laid back priest who phrased everything as if he wasn’t sure whether or not it was true was too good to pass up. 

“Yeah?” he asked, leaning forward mimicking Niki’s motion. While he still had that nonchalant air about him, he was very focused on Niki as if she was about to ask him some deep question. A reaction the young teenage girl wasn’t used to getting by many people. It seemed to give her more justification in her quest to help her ghost stalker peace. 

“How good are you at exorcisms?” 

Father Billy, for all his very unpleasantness, was probably, in hindsight, the best man for the job. He didn’t question Niki as she explained her predicament. In fact, he took everything she said very seriously. It was a weird feeling, being heard. And it wasn’t until that moment that Niki even realized she wasn’t sure if she had ever felt this way before. 

“I want him to find peace.” Niki concluded after her long winded story, “And maybe to stop watching me while I sleep. It’s a little weird.” 

“No doubt.” Billy said nodding, “Let me get some candles and oils pulled together and we can head over to the house.”

“Wait really?” that seemed fast, not that she was complaining but didn’t she like… have to go to confession first? Set up a meeting with the pope? 

“Sure, you think the little dude will come out during the day or should we wait until night?” 

Niki didn’t want to explain to the priest that the ghost was quite lanky and thus not really a “little dude.” He probably didn’t mean literally, anyway. 

“Well, I only saw him at night so probably then.” 

“Radical, then we will meet up tonight.”

-A sunset later-

The moon was full, vaguely Niki wondered if she would also run into a werewolf as Father Billy parked his blue car. After all, if ghosts were real why not werewolves and vampires?

Although after Edward, Niki wasn’t sure she could handle another supernatural being for a while. 

“What a delightful surprise.” Edward floated toward Niki. His body seemed extra glowy today. Maybe it was the moon. “You have decided to seek me out for once.”

“I did,” Niki said, stepping to the side to reveal the priest behind her,” and I brought a friend.”

“Loving the hat my dude.” 

Edward fidgeted with his hat awkwardly unsure of this new development. 

“Why is this man of the faith here?” he inquired looking at Niki. He probably knew why but didn’t want to admit it. 

“Your rad friend here totally came in the clutch to help you find peace.” Father Billy said, looking around the house. “Is this your pad?” 

“No woman has ever been so considerate for my well being.” Edward said, casting a long loving glance toward Niki. Of course, the only kind of guy Niki could get to look her way was a dead one. Vaguely she wondered what that said about her. 

“This is the 21st century my ghostly bro, we care for mental health now.” Billy nodded in agreement with Edward, “And she’s a good catholic girl.”

“Catholic?” Edward frowned, “I have pledged myself to Bahamut, god of justice and protection. Nicole tell me it isn’t true that you practice such a modern religion.”

Modern, Bahamut wait, what was he talking about? Racking her brain Niki tried to think of what Greek God Bahamut was. 

“Bahamut?” Billy said confused, “Like, Dungeons and Dragons?” 

“You have heard of it?” Edward’s eyes light up.

Niki’s mind was reeling, how did Father Billy know about Dungeons and Dragons? Wasn’t he supposed to be a priest? Didn’t they just… ya know, sit around and pray all day? And why would this ghost know about Dungeons and Dragons? Wasn’t he like 100 years old?

“Wait Edward, when did you die?” Niki asked.

Edward frowned slightly, his hand playing with the hem of his vest looking away for a moment before mumbling something.

“Come again, my dude?” Billy said, leaning forward.

“In 1989 ok!” Edward said louder, “And my name isn’t Edward. It’s Ryan. Dumb boring stupid Ryan.”

“Oh” was all that Niki could say, this whole time she had thought Edward was some guy from like the steamboat era when really he had only died around 10 years before she was born.

“Why did you lie?” Father Billy asked, frowning. 

“Because I don’t want to be boring old Ryan Price. Girl’s don’t like Ryan. Ryan LARPS in abandoned buildings and dies in a flash floods waiting for Elizabeth to show up. Edward is smart and has a dark past that women are attracted to. He’s a hero.” 

“Does Edward watch women while they sleep?” Niki felt frustration build up inside her. She really didn’t have that much justification to be angry but she felt a little lied to by this ghost with an identity crisis.  

“Yeah, to protect them.” Edward… uhh Ryan said.

“Well I don’t know,” Niki said, “I think I find Ryan better. He put it all on the line and waited for the woman he loved.”

“And died because of it.”

“Sounds to me you were just waiting for the wrong woman.” Father Billy’s sage advice chimed in. “And it seems to me Niki wanted to help Ryan find peace which is why we are here.”

Ryan looked down at his feet for a moment. “No woman has ever considered my well-being before. Actually, I’m not sure anyone has ever cared before.” 

 

As Niki stood in the very house where she had realized her own dreams of having a happily ever after with her high school crush, it all came to a screeching halt when she related to that feeling of rejection. After all, Courtney had known about her feelings and never bothered to tell her about her relationship. Trystan and Dan could care less if she comes or not. In another life, it could have been her waiting on the lawn for a love that would never show up. 

“My dude,” Billy said, reaching out his hands toward the ghost, “I think you're ready.”

“Ready for what?” 

“To find real peace.” 

“How?” Ryan asked, his hands wringing together nervously as he looked around as if peace was going to jump out and kidnap him. 

“Close your eyes, ” Billy said.  Closing his eyes, next to him Niki did the same. She wasn’t really sure why, maybe in solidarity for Ryan. “You need to really let go of this path. Forgive this Elizabeth chick for standing you up.” 

“If only I could but, the weight of heartbreak is too great.”

“It’s actually really easy my dude,” Billy’s voice raised a bit as he spoke, making Niki wonder if maybe it wasn’t easy. But he said it was easy right? But maybe it wasn’t? Maybe he was just trying to make Edward feel better. It was hard to tell with his thick socal accent.

“You see my emotionally compassionate friend, life isn’t about the big moments, what you did or didn’t do. It’s about the small simple things. All those seconds of life that you just… Existed in this plane.” The priest continued, “So breathe slowly and accept the life you had.” Both Niki and Father Billy breathed together almost automatically. Niki thought Ryan breathed as well. Do Ghosts even breathe? Think of all the past things that made you happy. The moments that were fulfilling to you and the ones around you.``

Edward closed his eyes and did as Billy instructed. “Now,” Billy continued, “think about resting, napping in a warm cozy place. “I like to think of drifting on my board in the ocean.”

“Your what?” that pulled Edward out of his daydream. He may have also been surprised by the priest’s surfing past.

“How about a hammock in the shade on a warm day?”  Billy corrected, “Or maybe by a fire on a stormy night?” 

“I… I did like relaxing with the quilt my grandma made me.”

“Perfect. Picture yourself there, totally at peace, resting. Everything else fades away. It’s the middle of a perfect day. Nothing big happened but it was peaceful and everything just worked out.” 

As Ryan sat there, his body slowly started to flicker. Then slowly it faded away. Like that. No pomp or circumstance. 

“Wow… did he… uhhh pass on?” 

“Fur sure.” Billy nodded letting the words drag out. “Lots of people think it’s some crazy special, but really you just need to find peace in the life you were given.” He got up and picked up the bag of items he had never ended up using.

“So if I become some angry ghost who is stuck in the past regretting the love I didn’t get, all I need to do is picture myself having a nap?”

“Yeah basically,” Billy said, shrugging, “Or just don’t go for a dude who doesn’t appreciate you for who you are.”

“That was actually really wise” 

“I try,” Father Billy shrugged, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “I could really go for a burger. Want to grab some on the way home?” 

“I would like that” 

“And you could explain to me how you even ended up in this house.”

“Well, you see… it’s because there really are only two types of people in this world… those who believe in ghosts… and those who don’t. Although I guess I should add that there is this third group of people who are the ones who go into haunted houses… they are the ones who like to be scared…”